Thursday, November 20, 2008

Subject: You Are Making Everyone Laugh At Us

Phil,

This is embarrassing. Did you really have to drop an F-Bomb on an angry Browns Fan? Do you really exhange emails with Browns Fans? Is Big Dawg Mike your friend too? Aren't you supposed to be busy, Phil? You're a GM of an NFL Team for Crissakes! Just watch the game! How'd he get your email address anyways, Facebook? Are you guys ex-My Space friends who had a falling out? Did he say something about you in chat room?

What bothers me Phil, is that I am trying to forget the mismanaged potential that was the 2009 season. I am trying to forget your savvy handling of Kellen Winslow's undisclosed illne-- Uggh - Staph Infection. I am trying to overlook your signing of Dante Stallworth. I am trying to dismiss the fact that your Coach Romeo knows as much about clock management as he knows about the South Beach diet. I am trying to pretend that Braylon Edwards didn't really bet Micheal Phelps he would score 2x as many TDs as Phelps had Golds. I am trying to forget DA's passer rating. I am trying to tune out the rumblings of the washed up RB you signed to an extension about people quitting on this team. But you are making it worse.

Then Phil, you go and leak a story saying you are offering $8-$9 million to Bill Cowher to divert attention. Like I wouldn't notice that Phillip. Nice timing. And don't act like you are making any smooth moves there with Cowher either. If I offered Cowher $9 mil to coach my flag football team he'd take the job. No other NFL Coach makes $9 mil Phil, you are just blowing smoke. And if you disagree, feel free to hit reply and shoot me an email back to discuss.

Regards,

John D. Shaver

1 comment:

Kevin said...

John D Shaver,

Phil Savage hear. SSSHHHHH!!! dmanit i wanted you to keep those ideas to yourself! Didnt you read my myspace page that said all irrational things i do keep quiet and just bark like my buddy Big Dog does!!! For that i am banning you from both the facebook and myspace!!!! Shaver go f**k yourself!!! I am the GM of a pro sports team but check out my fantasy team im crushing everyone in my league!!! Team name "Underachievers"

But if you have an idea on who i should start in any position for example rb i am more than willing to discuss this over kool aid. I was out shopping for food the other day and ran into a man named Ben Gay, he was bagging my groceries, said he played for the browns what you think of bringing him back? My buddy was working out and being trained by another ex rb last name was Parker what you think of him? Oh thats right i am the GM here and you are probably unaware of this ingenious information i acquire!