Friday, February 6, 2009

This Just In...Samuel Dalembert Only Had 3 Blocks

The score keeper in Philly had Dalembert for 4 blocks last game against the Bucks, but after further review, it turns out he only had 3. After a thorough statistical analysis, slow motion eight times, and the wearing of 3-Dimensional glasses in the dark by some loser in the NBA office, it turns out that Dalembert's finger did not actually touch leather on the lay-up attempt by Andrew Bogut late in the 3rd. His actual stat line should read 4 points, 6 rebounds, and 3 blocks, instead of the 4-6-4 game previously tallied.

Additionally, in breaking statistical review news, Tyronn Lue actually had 2 assists last game against Pheonix, instead of the 1 they had him down for. Nice work Lue. Steve Novak also scored 9 points instead of the 10 they had him for on Thursday as well, turns out his toe was on the line on the three - hold up two - he hit before halftime. Good catch on that too stat loser.

The reason the above sounds stupid is because the NBA DOESN'T DO THIS! You've never heard of statistical adjustments in the NBA in the past have you? I sure haven't. What this move was, taking LBJ's triple double and record away, is a slap in the face of Cleveland, the Cavaliers, and LeBron himself. The Cavs were on the ROAD. Maybe the hometown stat guy might give Ben Wallace a rebound on a tap out, but c'mon, what does the Knicks' statistician care? And two days later? Mr. Stern, if you want to investigate something, why don't you see how many of your referees are still on the take.

3 comments:

Tim said...

Typical!What,was Lebron stealing Kobe's thunder???Wouldn't it have made sense from a marketing standpoint to not nitpick?The league was getting tons of positive pub.and they could have really played that up heading into Sunday's game.The fact that,besides the Pro Bowl(snooze) the NBA has the spotlight pretty much all to itself for the first time all season.Suprising that that wasn't the thought process,knowing them.

davemanddd said...

they want lebron in new york. i mean isn't it obvious??? that's exactly what all this is about. they figure if they continue to piss him off by not giving him all the foul calls he truly deserves, calling him for traveling on his so-called "crab dribble", not electing mo williams to the all-star team not once but twice when he most definitely deserved it and now taking away his triple-double after the fact on a technicality, they just figure that eventually lebron is going to just get fed up, give in, say "enough is enough" and "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em". david stern is a marketing genius and he knows that with lebron staying in cleveland, it will keep the overall revenues of the league down, but put lebron in new york and you are talking out of this world jersey & memorabilia sales that will just go into the stratosphere. i mean do you know that lebron is only #3 in jersey sales behind kobe & kg??? but when you consider that #10 is nate robinson (nate robinson???) and #14 is david lee, you can see just how much of an impact it would actually make to have lebron in new york. trust me, the league offices are very aware of this and would like nothing more than to have lebron in their same town too and they are making no bones about it. they just won't admit to it publicly. it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out though. just like you can look at barry bonds and know that he did steroids even though he won't admit to it.

tim said...

lebron seems like a smart gut,who makes his own decisions,ultimately.so we will see.i've never gotten the impression that he is considering leaving.it really makes no sense.so lebron james is going to change his entire life,both professionally and personal,move to ny,switch teams,the knicks suck,just because stern wants him to?farfetched.consider everything involved,if it were you,what would you do?simple.